Are You STILL a Sucker for the Breast-Milk MAFIA?

You would think that I, having been bottle-fed, would be delighted over recent reports that breast milk isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But I’ve been delightfully outwitting rack-fed crackpots ever since I finished off my final baby bottle…and headed off to nursery school!                                                                                                    When a mother breast-feeds her baby, as NBC booboholic Dr. Nancy Snyderman points out, there’s a drug called oxytocin that makes her little suckling feel all “warm and wonderful” inside. So let’s see: if it’s a boy, her little SUCKER (feelin’ oh-so “warm and wonderful” inside) will wind up prancing to, for his very first day of, junior high school…where the bottle-fed boys will be waiting to bully, and beat the livin’ crap outta, her little pointy-headed PANSY (whilst I, of course, totally cheer them on!)!!    Now in 1979, only about 13 percent of new mothers were breast-feeders. Today, after the American Academy of Pediatrics’ enormous propaganda campaign, that figure has jumped to 76.5 percent! And get a titload of this: these American, academic, pediatric FRAUDS kept crying wolf over the ‘critical’ risks, to bottle-fed babies, of ASTHMA, CHILDHOOD LEUKEMIA, DIABETES, EAR INFECTIONS, ECZEMA, GASTROINTESTINAL INFECTIONS, SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME…the list goes on and on and on! And the only thing that the AAP managed to do was to turn virtually an ENTIRE GENERATION into Johnny-can’t–read, emotionally-stunted MOMMA’S BOYS!!!                                                                                            So here’s where I stand: bottle-feeding opens newborn babies up to the limitless potential of modern science. And I’ll take science over nature ANYday. And if I’m wrong about that, then how come I’m still intellectually bullying you all-natural NEANDERTHALS…and there still doesn’t seem to be one goddamn thing that ANY of you can do about it!!!